Don't settle for the Hoopty when the Bently is on the way!

Recently I have gone through the dreaded experience of car buying. I mean it is exciting to get the new car but the steps leading up to it are definitely not fun! You have to do research on what type of car you want. You look for things like: performance, safety, price, mileage just to name a few The process is just a pain! My wrong attitude wanted to be like “ if I had a husband, he would just tell me what to drive and I’ll buy it!” I know, I know there is more purpose for a significant other.

My dad took me to the dealership because there was a specific car that he was sold on. Everything about it was to his liking's. Me being over the whole process just followed his lead. The car that he picked out was great! I test drove it and loved it! I signed on the dotted line and within a few hours the beauty was mine! It was an exciting feeling.

My previously owned vehicle was a used but nice car. After a series of misfortunate events I was in desperate need of a vehicle hence enter Bessie. When I first saw it, I really liked it. It was cute and clean and within my budget so I was like "SOLD." After I purchased this car, I mean within weeks things started to go wrong with it. First it was the engine, flat tires left and right. one time it was even the same tire two days in a row) The starter a couple of times and then finally the head gasket blow a couple of times. (My dad ended rebuilding my car’s engine FIVE separate times) I say all that to say that on the outside things looked great but looks can be deceiving…

It's crazy to see how God can use any situation in life to teach us! When thinking and discussing my car issues with a friend, I realized that with my previous car I was so quick to settle because I was in desperate need. I didn’t take the time to pray about it, get car history, or anything a wise person should do before purchasing a used vehicle. It left me with more trouble than it was worth. Isn’t that what we sometimes do with dating?

We meet a guy and think :Wow he is really cute!" He drives a nice car and he even goes to church. WINNER! Everything on the surface seems great, Later on, you find out that he has a few qualities you don’t necessarily love but will cross that bridge when you get to it. Can we say COMPROMISE. With so much pressure in today’s society to date and get married we neglect to take the time to really consider the choices that we are making. We get caught up in our emotions and date and marry just anyone that comes our way. What a shame.

We might see things in that potential mate that are things that you would not usually go for but he is around and shows you interest and so you quickly compromise your expectations because you are filling your needs. Ladies this should not be so. Take the time to really seek God about anyone that you date and trust that He will give you guidance. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord your God and lean not on your own understanding. Don’t be so quick to settle and compromise by leaning on your own understanding. God has His very best for you if only you are patient. Don’t settle for the hoopty!

Time can produce an urgency which leads us to make lofty decisions. Like my car situation, you tend to settle and not wait for God’s best.  Time allows the enemy to strategically place thoughts in an undisciplined mind to question God’s faithfulness. This leads to discontentment and compromise. Don’t allow him to lie to you and think that God has forgotten about you.

Act 1:7 "It is not for us to know that time and season in which the Father put in his own authority." We are not to know the details behind the wait. It would overwhelm us and God knows that. Be patient and DON”T COMPROMISE in the wait!

I took a second look at my car situation and related it to dating. My dad can be a symbol of God. He led me to the the right car like God will lead you to the right mate. Because he had done the research, he had picked out the car, knew all the specifications and set me up. I didn’t have to worry about a thing, I just showed up and trusted that he had my best interest at hand. This is the same way God wants to deal with us regarding a mate when we fully submit to trusting Him. And the end result was far better than any compromise ever could have been!

Everything fell into place for me with my car and I didn’t have to settle for something out of desperation. I ended up with the perfect car! This is what God wants to do for us ladies in waiting. He has done the research, He knows what is best for us and He is just waiting for our submitted hearts to be led to our perfect mate. Sit back, relax, and let God go to work!

Psalms 107:30

Then they are glad because they are quiet;
So He guides them to their desired haven.

#singleisnotacussword

Bekah out!

Anxiety… Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Pulling up to your mailbox after a long day of work, you open it to find yet another wedding invitation. Love apparently is in the air but not for you. You have gone to many bridal showers and weddings yet you are still walking inside to cook for a party of one. You desire to add more place settings is growing strong yet there are no prospects. What is the deal?

You make your way to the room to get out of your not so comfortable work clothes and walk to the kitchen to make dinner. What fun is it to make dinner for one?  All the work and no one to show off your culinary skills to. Plus you hate leftovers. So cereal for dinner it is!

As you lay on your couch unwinding from your day, you turn on the television.  Because it is close to Valentine’s Day EVERYTHING that you flip through has to do with relationships. You opt to turn off the television and just read. Readers are leaders anyway right? You get lost in your new novel and next thing you know it is time for bed. You rinse off your makeup, prepare for bed just to repeat the routine all over the next morning.

Sound familiar? With everyone around you seemingly living a very exciting life doing everything that you so desire to do, it is very easy to be unsettled where you are. Philippians 4:6 says “Be anxious for nothing.” Okay easier said than done but did the apostle Paul spend his evening eating cereal for dinner and reading War and Peace? 

Why does the Bible tell us not to be anxious? Because all anxiety does is focus on tomorrow and make you miss what God is doing in your life today. Anxiety and worry go hand in hand. Basically it is saying that we don’t trust God to take care of our desires or needs. We take the situation in our own hands trying to figure out how to make it happen. To be anxious means that you are; full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; Ain’t nobody got time for that!

The Bible tells us a couple of things about anxiety and worry. 1. Don’t worry about tomorrow for it will worry about itself.  2. Worrying doesn’t add one thing to your life. Psalms 139:16 “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out  before a single day had passed.” What we have to realize is that before the foundations of the earth, God had already written the plans of your life. With that being the case, worrying about tomorrow instead of living in the present is nonproductive. It isn’t going to change a thing.

Anxiety steals your peace. It gives you unsettling thoughts.and begins to reflect in other areas of life. The root of anxiety boils down to fear. Fear is not of God. You are afraid that what you are believing for, in this case a significant other, won’t manifest. Those anxious thoughts begin to steal your quality of life. John 10:10 “The enemy come but to steal, kill, and destroy.” That is what anxiety does. Part B of the verse says that Jesus came to give us life and life more abundantly! So accepting anxiety in your life is accepting the enemy’s authority in that area. Remember you have the authority over him. Do not allow him to take dominion in any area of your life! God's perfect love casts out all fear. Settling in this thought eliminates fear!

Being anxious for a future time is not something that you are graced for. God gives us grace day by day. This is the reason that we are unsettled. He didn’t give you the resolve to worry about tomorrow or any other day. It is something that he has already taken care of. That is not your responsibility. When you take on worry you are taking God's job. He didn't hire you for that position. Don't self promote.

Matthew 11:29-30

²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

This is the position that God wants us to take so there will be rest for our souls. His burden is easy and light and anxiety is heavy and hard. I choose to work smarter not harder so I choose to give my cares and anxieties to God so that I can be weightless. What do you choose?

#thatsinglelifethough

Bekah out!

Live your Life Ay Ay Ay

"It’s seven o’clock, on the dot I’m in the drop top cruising the streets. I’m with a real handsome fella who is crazy for me… "

If you are any kind of R&B fan I am sure that you recognize these lyrics. My man Usher, well with a few lyric moderations. Imagine if you will, you and your BAE ready for a night out on the town. Beyonce’s Flawless doesn't even do you justice. On yea your significant other is looking fly as well. Can we say power couple? Because you guys are the “it” couple you are making your way around town, hitting each hot spot showing your true legitimacy as a couple. Everyone wants to be you and everyone wants to be your friend LG, Life’s Good.

But here is the lyrics to your life. 

"It 7:00 on the dot I’m in my PJs eating some meat. Wish I had a real handsome fella on the couch watching TV with me.” 

Reality is you are lying in bed looking like a hot mess, binge watching my 600 Lb life. Surely this will make you feel a little better about yourself. Assisted by social media, you’re living vicariously through your friend's Saturday plans. On to the next episode. Meanwhile after failing to use the bathroom for several hours, the sudden urge has quickly come upon you. You use the restroom and return to your bed with a carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream. The flooding memories of being picked last at recess or being called LOSER rushes to your head.

Seeing everyone around you flourishing in their season of life, the enemy starts feeding you lies about your worth. That you never going to get out of this situation. That no one wants or will ever want to be with you. Not true. You always have to remember that God has a specific plan for you. It looks different from others. Don’t compare your life to the life of those you see. You have not been forgotten or dropped.

Philippians 4:8 says  And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. ⁹ Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.

Look for the source of your thoughts. Are they good or bad? Good thoughts = Jesus, Bad thoughts = the enemy. Plain and simple. Yes the drought in your love life can lead you to a state of depression but I am here to tell you that you can be happy wherever you are.

Let’s bring it into a new prospective. Ephesians 5:16 says “Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Even though these lonely days aren’t really evil, to the single girl they feel like it right? Paradigm shift. See the cup half full! Instead of thinking you have nowhere to go or get ready for. YOU HAVE NO WHERETO GO AND GET READY FOR! HALLELUJAH! If you are like me and don’t have wash and go hair. You don’t have to style that unruly mess. Mic drop right there for me!

Kate Middleton versus Kim Kardashian? Which looks most appropriately addresses your style? Here’s to no stress concerning picking out an outfit where you accentuate your curves but don’t reveal all your goodies. Keeping it holy. Instead can we say tattered Mickey Mouse onesie with food stains! Sounds good to me! You don’t have to try to dress to impress and that is fabulous. Take advantage of it.

What’s for dinner you ask? ANYTHING YOU WANT! You don’t have to pretend that you only eat salad to stay skinny. Let your inner chubby girl come out! Let her wave her Oreo filled hands in the air in victory!  Eat that turkey leg with a side of ribs. Let the sauce drip off your chin. Own it! No one will ever know.

What’s on television? Oh you know just a good six to eight hours of Lifetime Movie Network or The Notebook on repeat or my case EVERY James Bond Movie. There is no one there  to judge you, so let the tears flow or practice your stuntman moves. Reenact those amazing scenes. You don’t have to share your viewing pleasure with anyone. One day that will be a struggle but today my friends is not the day.

Ever thought you could be on Lip Sync battle? I know I have. Well now is the perfect time to prove it! Practice in the mirror. Crank up the volume. Maybe put on a stellar outfit and prove it to an audience of one. You just never know when you might get the call from LL Cool J so be like a boy scout and always be prepared.

For those of you who are more the intellectuals. read a book. Yes I said it READ! I personally love using my imagination and getting lost in the story. Pick a genre and go for it. After all readers are leaders.

As you can see there are endless options for your "lonely" night. These are just to name a few. Get creative with it. Don't allow society to dictate what your life should looks like. You are the one in control and it is all about what you make it. Make it exciting!

Lastly the thing that would be the most beneficial to you, spending time with God. Take this opportunity to grow closer to God. This very well might be the place that God has lead you intentionally to build a deeper relationship with Him. Read, pray, worship, listen to podcasts whatever works for you.  After all He is the original pursuer of your heart. Allow Him to pursue you in this time. Get intimate with God and it very well might be that the intimacy that you build fulfills the void that you are feeling. Once you are in a relationship, the balance of your relationship with God will get harder. Do it now while you can be fully committed.

A lot of time God allows you to be in a wilderness place before He gets you to the promise land. Let your relationship with God bloom. He is the lover of our soul and our original love. He thinks that we are the apple of His eye (Psalms 17:8). He is constantly mindful of us (Luke 1:48 )and rejoices over us with singing (Zephaniah 4:13), God's love for us is endless and unconditional. Why wouldn’t we want to spend time with Someone who treasures us so much? Invest in Him because He has a lot invested in you. This is where true satisfaction is.

Psalms 65:12 

We went through fire and through water;

But You brought us out to rich fulfillment.

#thatsinglelifethough

Bekah Out!