Don't Have An Achy Breaky Heart

I remember my first job like it was yesterday. My working girl job was mild to say the least. I was a car hop at the beloved fast food chain Sonic Drive Inn. Not the most glamorous job but not bad for my first. As a high-schooler, I made bank! Not only did I make above minimum wage but I also made tips every night. Those would range from $50 to $100 a night. Because I did make so much, I was cut off! From that point on I had to pay for everything. When I bought something, it was a big deal. I worked hard to pay for what I got so you best believe I was careful with who I let hold, touch, or borrow my possessions. It instilled a great pride in me.

Ladies if we work so hard for our possessions such as clothes, our car, or even hair, can you feel me, why shouldn’t we take that much pride with our hearts? We can have a great pride about of heart while we are in the dating game. Our heart is a sacred place and our most precious possession. In fact, if you were to ask a child where Jesus lives, their reply, “in my heart.” If that is the case, why would we share such a sacred place with any ole male that comes along. This should not be. It is a place reserved for Jesus.  

Matthew 7:6 “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces. I know some women scorn are thinking this verse directly relates to men. Sorry think again. For the sake of conversation this can insinuate that we should not give something so precious, our hearts, to someone not deserving of it and who doesn't know how to handle it. As we understand not only who we are but Whose we are, we will value it so much more. We shouldn’t treat it like something that anyone has easy access to. Don't let it be taken for granted.

Proverbs 4:23 says Guard your heart with all diligence. This sounds more like a command than just a suggestion. Let's break down the verse a bit. To guard actually means to keep secret, be blockaded, guard from dangers, preserve. This is the attitude we need to keep about our hearts. It further goes on to say that your heart is your escape from death and your source of life. We can escape the lack of peace due to dating heart breaks if we follow that simple command. Our heart is our life source.

However, what we see is single well intention young women who are lonely, give their hearts away to anyone who gives them the time of day. If we aren’t careful, a simple “Hello” to an unguarded heart can lead to dangerous waters. With time, the heart becomes unprotected and in danger. Next thing you know, after long serious conversations and discussion of marriage, you are all in!

Then one day out of nowhere he tells you that he just isn’t in love with you anymore or he has met someone else. What? You guys talked about your future plans together.From things like, where you would get married, where you would settle down, how many kids you would have, dog or cat, and how you would navigate watching Empire (Yep that’s my show) or the basketball games. In tears and devastated, you are left to pick up the pieces. How did you get here?

Well my friend, you were loose with your heart and unfortunately there can be repercussion for that. Thank God that He can redeem all situations. If you allow it, He can mend a broken heart. Don’t wallow in your mistakes. Ask God to forgive your carelessness with your heart. Trust that He heals and be careful next time. No condemnation. Move forward.

In my opinion, we are allowed to have pride involving our hearts. As we build our confidence, we understand that we have the right to hold on to it more tightly. We are daughters of the Most High King. You’re royalty.Think of your heart like the crown jewels. The jewels are locked away other than special occasions. Keep your heart on lock down. The crown jewels aren't easy to access and neither should your heart be. At this point, the only person that has earned  access to the crown jewel of the heart is Jesus. With his death and resurrection He has obtained it. Make men earn your heart.

Let me clarify this a bit. I don’t mean playing games with him or guarding your heart so tightly that it makes it impossible to really know you. Be wise with how vulnerable you allow yourself to get but don’t lay it all out there either ladies. Stay a little mysterious. Men are meant to pursue and if your heart is clear as glass they have no chase. Be balanced. Wait to let your crazy out! Slowly let it seep out! Just kidding, but really…

What I mean about earning your heart is allowing time for him to show himself worthy. Look at his character. The things that he does or says and integrity issues are the things that indicates whether or not he can begin to gain access to your heart. Now is he always going to get it right? NO!  We all mess up so give him mercy.

I know all this can be confusing but don’t neglect the fact that you know the Omniscient- all knowing God. Ask Him about the situation. If we do it in our own understanding, we will get it wrong every time. James 1:5 says if any of you lacks wisdom, ask of God. Through discernment He will tell you what to do and when to act.

One final thought. YOUR HEART IS ON RESERVE UNTIL YOU GET MARRIED!!! No ifs, ands, or buts! The altar is the only time that you are allowed to give your heart away no matter how committed of a relationship you are in, The day that you say “I Do” and enter into that covenant it is okay to fully commit your heart to your spouse. By this time hopefully he has proven himself to have character like Jesus. Ar this time you should feel safe to let your barricades down. Until then your heart is on look down. Got it!

#thatsinglelifethough

Bekah out!

In the begin was the blog...

Awakened in the wee hours of the night with the urgency to utilize your personal home facilities, regretting that last cup of water before bed, you begin to trudge through the dark ominous room. Lights remain unused because you know if you turn them on you're bound to fully awake. Everyone knows this sister can’t afford to lose any beauty sleep! Clumsily you make your way through the dark room. After doing your business, you head back to bed. Just when you think you’re in the clear and in skewed sight of your bed, WHAM. You catch your pink toe on your dresser! The very first thing that comes out of your not always saved self is every exploited in the book. You shout them out as if the words are going to numb the pain. Despite all your efforts, you end up having to turn on the light anyway just to check that you didn’t rip off your toe. Now just plain upset, in pain, and fully awake losing that coveted beauty sleep you tried so desperately hold on to, you lay in bed.“All this because you just had to have that last sip of water for your parched throat”.

Isn’t it funny that anytime we experience pain, the first thing we want to do is say something naughty? Well our unsanctified self does. But that isn’t you anymore right? You have been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb. Can I get a Hallelujah and an Amen! So often however as single women we associate our single season as though it is a cuss word. Well I am here to tell you that is W-R-O-N-G wrong!

So guess what this blog is about…#thatsinglelifethough. I know what you are thinking, “A singles blog are you serious? Everyone these days has a blog. What makes your’s different”? Well I am glad that you asked! I am not going to post depressing song lyrics or poems. I am not going to get emotional, I promise. I won't get on a soapbox. In fact, this is meant to encourage you. I want to give you a whole new perspective. Instead of giving all the obvious cons as to why single hood is, well not necessarily the ideal state as a single women, I am here to encourage you and strengthen you and light a new fire under you!

DISCLAIMER: I am a God fearing, fully devoted, Holy Ghost filled (for all you old school readers) Christian so if that bothers you I would advise you not to read it. Everything that I will write will be word based and in my belief through guidance by the Holy Spirit, the way we are supposed to conduct ourselves in this season. If you don’t agree or you choose not to read it, my feeling won’t be hurt. It is what it is. With that being said if you would like to further be encouraged, read on if not thank you for your time.

So why do you ask I named it what I named it? Well if you allow yourself to get to the place, single hood can be a joy! No I didn’t mistype. There is so much you can do in your single state that you can’t do in a relationship or marriage. There are hobbies that we can take up, places to go, people to impact, and ways that we can develop for marriage. You have the whole world in front of you! Society however doesn’t want you to see it that way. It wants you to thinking that until you get married and pop out that first kid, life hasn’t begun. WRONG! That is just a different season of life. Not one is better that other each just has different purpose. I want to encourage and strengthen you in this season to help you through your lonely weekends. There are so many benefits to being single so let’s tap into them together shall we. Trust me everything that I write is through personal experience This is my cross to bear so you're welcome!  So hop on board and take this journey with me! 

#thatsinglelifethough

Bekah out!